If the queen had, er, a beard, she’d be the pharaoh

We can now report that Queen Hatshepsut really was Queen Hatshepsut. Egyptian antiquities officials have positively identified the mummy of the rare female pharaoh, thanks to the modern miracle of DNA testing.

Hatshepsut ruled Egypt for a span of 22 years in the middle of the 15th century BC. Besides being incredibly fat, she is said to have dressed like a man and worn a fake beard.

Apparently, this made her even less attractive than Michael Moore.

In 1903, Hatshepsut’s mummy was discovered in the Valley of the Kings, on the west bank of the Nile, and has been kept there ever since.

Then, in March of this year, the body was brought to the Cairo Museum, where DNA samples taken from the mummy were matched against those of the queen's equally withered grandma.

The results: excited Egyptologists everywhere tossing their pith helmets in the air.